Relationships

Relationships confuse the fuck out of me.

First case and point, my mother. She stuck on Big Brother and has now gone to bed and I'm still up and Big Brother's still on? But never mind.

At my work, relationships are pretty complicated. They always have been. Like when I was with boy's dad, his best friend's girlfriend was one of my friends. I'm still friends with her, but neither of us are with either of them. Since actually spending time in my home town (which, before I left uni, hadn't happened since the age of six. I've always been schooled at a 10 mile distance, minimum, and therefore had hardly any connection with this town except it has my bed in it) I've noticed that everyone in this town just knows everyone. Except my family, we're kind of an anomoly to everyone else. Unless you're in the town I went to Primary in, you'll know the whole family there *shrugs*.

I think I have pretty good relationships with most people. When your my friend, our relationship is normally dictated by one of two types of behaviour on my part. I'm either really nice, approachable, chatty, bubbly. Or I take the piss as and when I can create an opportunity, and seem like a huge bitch. I think the latter applies if I think you can take the baggage. I don't treat you better if I like you more, I don't bitch at you because I think you'll understand me better. If I don't talk to you ever ... yeah, we're clearly not going to be friends, because I can't be bothered to be either way with you.

There aren't many people I give the silent treatment to, by the way. Crazy guy who cut in front of me on the walk to work this morning, and despite 'My life would suck without you' by Glee pounding my ears, he thought we could have a chummy talk about the fact the local high school kids use the underpass that leads to their school. Wrong, crazy, I want to hear Glee. This is one of my favourite songs they've done. I'm not following you either, I just can't outwalk you. Stop looking. I don't care.

Sigh.

Anyway, I was talking to one of my chummy-chummy girls earlier, and she shocked me (I really have to stop being shocked by the kinds of revelations I get at work. Basically, everyone I like hates each other and people who I can't see as friends spend all their time together. And half of them have slept with the other half, more or less. These factoid doesn't go in. They should love each other, because I love them. Simple) by saying one of my other chummy-chummy friends hates her. I sat there thinking 'whyyyyyy?' and she told me why and ... it's just insulting. To both of them, and anyone else involved. Maybe I'm just being a drama queen, I don't know. They're both so bubbly, you'd think they'd get on. But apparently not. But then another girl we were talking with said something about one of her good friends (I'm purposefully holding back the details, because I know what'll happen next time I work with Lizzy ... 'what're you talking about on your blog?' ... mehhhh) ... anyway, so it basically turns out I know shit all about people.

And then my friend who does so much for this one celebrity has messaged me because she's going crazy at his team's lack of organisation. She thinks they're making her look stupid, because she's doing all this stuff and getting contradicted all the time. It's such a minefield, trying to think how she should approach the people to tell them to get their act together without coming across as bitchy. I could never do what you do, I just don't have the patience. But I'm here, always.

But ... thank goodness for one friend. I've been plotting this entry since the aforementioned conversation with absolutely no details, and then Joanne goes and messages me on facebook and ... n'awwwwh! She said she misses our online chats and she's going to send me a blue nose friend I don't have (although, I'd prefer it in person .... we really have to get organised) and just general loveliness and ... this is the kind of relationship that makes all the other pitfall-ridden relationships worth it. And someone else was reminiscing about the first time we all met, in Thorpe Park, and ... God I miss my friends. Distance is a bitch.

Sorry I've been so profane this entry. I do try to tone it down, since I can't swear at work, and can't swear in front of the boy ... I probably will continue to do so.

Because there are more relationships driving me nuts right now. Like, how much can you take from one person and still not expect to give back? I see it happening daily, but it's not worth it to speak up, and it makes me sick that it's not. I think sometimes some people have blinkers on when it comes to other people ...

... and then, like with my driving instructor ... how do you know if you're letting people down, messing people about? I texted with the times I could do this week, and he sent back a text confirming ... but I think I had to text back confirming the confirmation? If I said I could do one time and you say you can do that time ... doesn't it go without saying? How far do these confirmations go? It's like sending thank you cards for thank you cards after you've given someone a present or helped them somehow or something. Or when I lent Claire my boyfriend jacket, then she left it in my room and I said thanks, so she said thanks, and I said what? because I didn't hear her. So she said thanks again. And then so did I.

I think I need to be alone for like, a day. And then with the mcfans for another day.

Then, I might be normal, and have a decent perspective.