Sometimes, and I know how bad this is, but sometimes I wish I wasn't a mum.
I love my boy to pieces, and I can't spend enough time with him.
But sometimes, I'd love to go out when I want to.
Stay up all night if I want.
Go travel the world if it suits me.
Not watch my language.
Get more tattooes.
Dye my hair more often.
Leave routine behind.
I knew what I was giving up, but the last few weeks ... yeah, it's been a little hard. I wouldn't trade him for any of it, I just ... I guess I wish it was easier to have both, be a good mum and my own person.
I've gotten so emo on here lately. Lets blame my book, since Sal has absolutely no ties. Lucky guy.
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ReplyDeleteI love you hun x Seeing you out and about has been great x If I'm ever not working and you wanna go out, I'll gladly have the boy (lol...that sounds weird). That should make you feel privileged, cos I usually can't stand other peoples children, but I'm sure he would be a treat to look after xxx Anytime hun xxx
ReplyDeleteI wasn't asking for babysitting lol, but thanks for the offer. I don't think anyone else could stomach an hour and a half reading until he settles down for bed though!
ReplyDeleteIt's a whole load of things that made me write that, like getting to act my age once in a while brings home just what you do give up for kids. I just wish my mum didn't add to the 'things you give up for kids' list the way she does.
She actually guilt-tripped me on Wednesday when my sister helped me dye my hair because "I didn't spend enough time with the family". Ummm. I always 'spend time' but everyone else clears off, but I get the grief the one time I do? Think that's why yesterday pissed me off a little, because Friday night could've been good but she was all meh about it (and instead of making fun of Ben with you, I got to listen to my mum have a go at my sister for breaking her laptop she got 2 months ago with her blackberry. As if she wasn't feeling bad enough)
I'm ranting again, I know. When I move out, people are allowed over whenever the hell they like!