That's what happens when you skim read

So, I've busted a gut to get more time to get in work, to get more stuff done etc etc. Taking responsibility for the fact I'm being promoted. Good girl, me. But there are times I can't do - times I need to be with boy, times I need to do my other duties at work. I explained this in an email, but because the scheduling manager hasn't read it properly, and saw the timings in my email, he's just given me the times I can't do. I'm available 18 hours on Monday, except the evening. Guess what shift I have? Same for Thursday. Sigh. I'll go down tomorrow on his shift and explain the situation, but in the mean time, I've asked for cover on our system. Still, it's a huge effing headache considering I have a dependent to consider too.

On the flip side, two of the shifts I've been given that I can do read as management shifts. Scary. They've made me run 2 shifts this week which is great, I wanna do the stuff and get used to it ... but I need more than just 'okay, run the shift now'. How about telling me goals, things I have to get done, how to do certain things (like travelpaths, KVS reports etc) ... they should know by now I have a billion questions about everything and will ask as they occur, I'm not a robot, I'm a thinker, and I'm thinking about how little someone who's just been promoted has actually given me to think about. Could be worse though, she's spoonfeeding her boyfriend everything, he won't have the wherewithal to run a shift properly at the end of it.

So, enough about work. In three weeks time I will be with some of the best people on the planet, having seen Harry Potter 7.1 in Empire Impact at half 10 in the morning. Obsessed? Moi?

Oh, and this is really for http://zeebee-booksbooksbooks.bloggingabout.com but I'm on the second part of Anna Karenina. Awesome book, even if the English translation makes the language clunk a little. A little more vapid a subject matter than I was expecting from the guy who brought us War And Peace, but the detail's what counts.

My back's hurting too. Got to stop lugging all my books about every day for work.

Confession corner

So ... okay, I'm going to get a bit emo here. Maybe I've overplayed my chemical romance or something, I don't know. Don't read if you're going to pity me, or give advice or anything. I just want to purge, you know?

So I haven't been that lucky in relationships. Ever. The guy I came closest to having a decent relationship with lived too far away, and I couldn't handle it, the change between being his distant girlfriend and being his girlfriend right there.

And normally it's easy for me to just avoid it all - I'm glad one person's computer is broken right now, because I'm hoping when she finally gets around to reading this I'll be over it all and back to normal - because I know I'm crap, and my relationships are crap. And I'm so busy at the moment, with work and my boy and just general life, I couldn't fit anyone in.

But ... maybe it's just this time of year? I normally start going out with people in October - I don't know why, I just do - and I'm really feeling it this year. I don't even know anyone I actually think of that way. I mean, there are a couple of guys I know and get on well with and we joke about it and everything, but I think right now that's just counter-productive. I'm in the sort of mood where I kinda wish it was real, not because I suddenly think they're insanely hot, but because they're making it sound like a possibility.

I'm just not in a great place in general, I've got too many hang ups from the last few years ... but right now, I wish there was someone who could dispel those hang ups and make me feel human. Just for a little while.

Anyone know any good men? I've checked, Jake Gyllenhaal is currently unavailable, so get inventive, please.

Where've you been, buddy?

Sorry, I really want to blog, I do, but I just literally haven't had the time. My folks are away this week - mum's back tomorrow - but it means I have no back up childcare. So I'm rushing about for the boy and with everything going on at work I've had a few meetings to get to and whatnot, lots of new things to learn, and last night boy was sick and I had to cancel my plans to sleep and maybe come on here. Fun, fun.

I'll blog again tonight, or tomorrow, or something.

Sweet

So, I've been checking my inbox every so often for the past month (ish). I'm waiting to hear when I can do my English and Maths exams for my apprenticeship (I'm guessing it's when Lizzie gets back from Florida, since she's invigilator. See, Lizzie, this is why I need to come Florida with you. I know that makes no sense, but I need any old excuse really) and I saw some from our owner in my inbox today. Huzzah! I opened it up ... but it's about the management interviews I went to instead. I'm glad I got it, thought certain shift runners were messing me about when they said I'd done well. I was worried for a few reasons that I wouldn't, like the fact that for the next couple of weeks I've got barely any availability, not until my parents come back to the Northern Hemisphere. So yay, go me! I don't always live in a dream world. That's important for me to know, lol