Confession corner

So ... okay, I'm going to get a bit emo here. Maybe I've overplayed my chemical romance or something, I don't know. Don't read if you're going to pity me, or give advice or anything. I just want to purge, you know?

So I haven't been that lucky in relationships. Ever. The guy I came closest to having a decent relationship with lived too far away, and I couldn't handle it, the change between being his distant girlfriend and being his girlfriend right there.

And normally it's easy for me to just avoid it all - I'm glad one person's computer is broken right now, because I'm hoping when she finally gets around to reading this I'll be over it all and back to normal - because I know I'm crap, and my relationships are crap. And I'm so busy at the moment, with work and my boy and just general life, I couldn't fit anyone in.

But ... maybe it's just this time of year? I normally start going out with people in October - I don't know why, I just do - and I'm really feeling it this year. I don't even know anyone I actually think of that way. I mean, there are a couple of guys I know and get on well with and we joke about it and everything, but I think right now that's just counter-productive. I'm in the sort of mood where I kinda wish it was real, not because I suddenly think they're insanely hot, but because they're making it sound like a possibility.

I'm just not in a great place in general, I've got too many hang ups from the last few years ... but right now, I wish there was someone who could dispel those hang ups and make me feel human. Just for a little while.

Anyone know any good men? I've checked, Jake Gyllenhaal is currently unavailable, so get inventive, please.