So ... okay, I'm going to get a bit emo here. Maybe I've overplayed my chemical romance or something, I don't know. Don't read if you're going to pity me, or give advice or anything. I just want to purge, you know?
So I haven't been that lucky in relationships. Ever. The guy I came closest to having a decent relationship with lived too far away, and I couldn't handle it, the change between being his distant girlfriend and being his girlfriend right there.
And normally it's easy for me to just avoid it all - I'm glad one person's computer is broken right now, because I'm hoping when she finally gets around to reading this I'll be over it all and back to normal - because I know I'm crap, and my relationships are crap. And I'm so busy at the moment, with work and my boy and just general life, I couldn't fit anyone in.
But ... maybe it's just this time of year? I normally start going out with people in October - I don't know why, I just do - and I'm really feeling it this year. I don't even know anyone I actually think of that way. I mean, there are a couple of guys I know and get on well with and we joke about it and everything, but I think right now that's just counter-productive. I'm in the sort of mood where I kinda wish it was real, not because I suddenly think they're insanely hot, but because they're making it sound like a possibility.
I'm just not in a great place in general, I've got too many hang ups from the last few years ... but right now, I wish there was someone who could dispel those hang ups and make me feel human. Just for a little while.
Anyone know any good men? I've checked, Jake Gyllenhaal is currently unavailable, so get inventive, please.
if you come across more than one, send him my way ok?
ReplyDeletenot saying i know exactly how you feel, but i know of the feelings you're talking about. When most people around you are happily in love and there you are thinking.. what about me?
the cliche is he's somewhere out there.. is he? maybe, but why isn't he here right now? *sighs*
it is a depressing time of year, it's getting darker and colder, i suppose it is natural to feel the loneliness stronger now?
i just hope that a prince charming will come along and swoop you off your feet, or at least someone who can make you feel human again like you said.
Wish i could come with more constructive advice and helpful words here..
So there can be more than one decent man at any one time?
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, other people in relationships don't bother me. Even if I really liked someone and they went out with someone else, I'd either think they swapped up or they obviously had no taste (depending on my competition lol) and I'd either be happy for them or get over it. And I like seeing my friends loved up, I have no interest in their boyfriends so that doesn't get to me either.
I'll get over it soon enough. I have a feeling I know when ... but it's too loaded for me to put on here :/