What would you call that?

Y'know I said I did a three-month tarot reading t'other day? Well, I thought, as a laugh (because sometimes they have the best inspiration for stories) I'd get this fate magazine, talks about ghosts and angels and other-worldly things. They have horoscopes in it, and the horoscopes say the same thing as the cards. Now, is that fate, or karma, or coincidence, or a pair of entangled atoms that somehow have made that possible (oh yeah, you got a dose of physics in this ramble!) or something I should disregard despite the fact the dates given coincide to Florida, my friend's 18th, and work when I finish my holiday? And will my choice be changed should these things occur or not?

But another twist of fate, or karma, or paired electrons with spin charge, is relevant to this entry.

I said a few entries ago I wanted a me day, despite needing to earn as much as possible for this holiday/boy in general. Someone new is doing our schedule. I have my first weekday off in months - in this year, apart from a holiday in April. This could be because no one's in college, or because he's noticed I'm available both weekend days and am good enough at enough areas of work to make myself invaluable over the weekend. Or it could be because Kismet agrees I need some me time.

In fact, I start on Thursday about an hour before I normally finish. I can read, write, go to the cinema, sunbathe, sort out my dollars (I have $120 already, and £100 ready to change up, I'll be doing that the next few days) sleep, shop (and try on the clothes without worrying about a buggy!), eat where I want, when I want, meet up with friends. I am NOT going to waste my 2 free days (well, almost free). Even if I'm watching cash - I am going to live for me.

I might also print out required elements for submitting my writing to agents. I have a list of authentic agents in the UK, and their websites, will send to three (since I have three envelopes) and see how we go. I know I'm not great at writing ... but I'm pretty good. Right? Right? It's one of my new years resolutions, I'd better get my head in the game.

**edit** Oh, I just checked. I mentioned both of these elements in the same post 12 days ago. freaky ...

Days until I go see Toy Story 3: 9
Days until Florida: 10
Days until I'm home: 27
Days until boy's 3rd: 41
Days until boy's party: 43
Days until bridgathon: 65

Oh, do you still come here?

So ... you know I said I was exhausted last post? Yeah, I haven't stopped since I wrote it.

I went to see eclipse. Lizzy couldn't come, but I went with my sister and a couple of other people. And honest, it was the funniest film I saw this year. Mainly because the girl I was sat next to - we'll call her Sally - and I were just taking the absolute piss out of the film. She may not agree on my assumption, but I did accidentally throw popcorn on her (my contact was sliding about, went to fix it and caught the box, whoops!) ... so at the party scene, we decided it was one girl at the party, super-imposed a thousand times since all the dresses and dance moves were similar. And we laugh at Victoria's huge mouth/eyes, and Rosalie's vaudeville eyebrows ... but Jacob's lines were the best. Or the ones surrounding him. Like when Bella was like 'Jake ... STAY!' one of us went ' ... sit!' and the other was going 'roll over!' hahaha ... because he's a dog/wolf too, it sounded like a command. It's probably funnier without the explanation. Oh, and at the end, when he's like 'Bella *gasp* you and me *gasp* would be *gasp gasp* as easy *shudder* as breathing' and Sally goes 'you're not finding it very easy right now, are you mate?' ... I love going to the cinema when people make obnoxious comments at the right moment. If Cassie had been there with me, I wouldn't have been following the film, just everything Cassie said, doubled up with laughter to boot.

Oh, and every girl in there was like 'ahhhhhhhhhhhhh' when Jacob was on screen topless, and the guys nearby were going 'yeah yeah, get over it' ... they're just jealous they don't get that reaction. Jasper did it for me though, it was like, the emo kid picking on the jock when he practiced with Emmett. And when he had darker patches under his eyes in Bella's dream ... yeah, I admit, I was a little turned on. It's all about Kellan Lutz and Jackson Rathbone for me, the film part of the franchise ... totally why I can stand the films more than the books (and three chapters of the book become two minutes of the film. I can put up with Stoned-face for that) ... I'm so shallow.

So ... obviously I haven't just been watching eclipse for the past few days. I've been working, and suffering the adverse effect of a strong willed toddler. He's gone to bed early tonight compared to other nights this week, and even then he finally caved gone nine. So once he's in bed I'm knackered and I've just not been near my computer. I can access the website on my phone, but once the posting box fully uploads I can't type so no phone updates.

Plus, my nan's over and she takes a lot out of me. Just ... okay, we were watching the news when that gunman up north got caught, and then the next morning when they said he shot himself and she was like 'good riddance, he kept everyone waiting long enough' and I was like 'but it's all really sad, there's nothing good about a man so desperate he needs to resort to that' but ... maybe it's the difference in generations. My other nan was like that sometimes, and I hated disputing ... but I felt it a lot, that the judgement wasn't fair without all the information.

My brother's girlfriend was over with her son again too, so two screaming, giggling, energetic toddlers (who're into the same things and therefore are prone to small spats) for the whole weekend, and a family gathering for my brother's birthday, and boy going to yet another birthday party in between, in a ball pond with cake and pass the parcel after with the vicar's son ... yeah, I haven't had much time to myself. And it's the zoo tomorrow (PENGUINS!) and another full week of work after that ... I might get some time to sleep in Sunday. I think I've got a surprise birthday to go to Saturday night too.

So ... something my tarot cards said was right ...

Exhaustion

Yeah ... after writing yesterday, I did a three-month reading with my tarot cards (I'm actually falling in love with them, saaaaad) ... I think I was up until about 1, deciphering it all. It kept saying the same thing over and over and I wondered if all the cards were near each other in translations ... but nope, not so much. Basically, my cards talked about a lot of money coming my way, and focus/progression in my career, and someone moving out (and no love) ... I can see most of that. Except the money, of course. Remind me what that looks like again? (I jest, I frequently am responsible for up to £2000 in cash. I see it every day. I'm sick of Andrew Bailey's signature). But yeah, basically ... I think it was telling me to get over my hang-ups and send my stories off to agents.

So that wasn't good. And boy taking over an hour to eat an apple, almost falling asleep in the bowl but refusing to let my sister take him to bed hasn't helped tonight. And my feet have hurt all day, and now my back does ... and it's not over.

I need a mental health day. A day just for me, where I can do what I want, wii all I want, read and write and go to the cinema and walk in the park or lay in a forest, sunbathe at home ... or whatever. Boy pushing bedtime out like it isn't good for a happy mummy, because I can't even remember the last time I had a bath now ... quick shower tomorrow morning instead (that is, if my sister would stop hogging the damn bathroom when I need to use it) but it's not the same for aching limbs.

I got invited out clubbing tomorrow night too. I want to go, since I rarely go out, but I'm watching cash and have a driving lesson the next morning. I think hungover, I'd definitely crash.

But I will go see Eclipse on Friday (because Kellan Lutz and Jackson Rathbone are pretty yum, though Jackson loses man-points for having absolutely no butt) - I wanna go with a few people, but they don't like each other, so I have to pick my battles. I don't like you, battles. You suck.

I'm off to bed now. Once I've sorted out clothes for tomorrow. Meh.

I am still here!

I'm such an obsessive blogger, aren't I?

I am still here, I promise. Yesterday I got sick again. I had a sore throat through my driving lesson, and my sinuses got clogged, and I felt nauseous, and I fell over and hurt myself to boot. And basically, I fell asleep at 8.30 last night.

And today we chillaxed in the morning, went to work's funday, then last minute boy's Godfather invited me out for football/party ... so I've been at a Golf Club all evening. My eyes are tired from my contacts.

I'll write properly tomorrow. I'm re-reading the Deathly Hallows while reading this bridesmaids book, so there's nothing huge going on in the reading/writing department (though, I have to ask, L, have you looked at the memory stick yet?) ... haven't had the time, or the wellness. I've only got a short shift wednesday, might be able to push on with it all. Or crack the tarot stuff out, maybe?

Sick Day

Yeah, the flu got the better of me. I went to drop boy off at nursery in the car and couldn't keep my eyes open. Thank God I wasn't the one driving, right?

I slept most of today. That's helped. And watched glee.

The other day, I was looking over this tarot stuff, and you know what? It's actually pretty cool. It's not really future-telling, it's comforting. The cards have different meanings, depending what they're next to when laid for a reading (so if they're in 'past' position they may not mean the same when in 'problem' position). You think of a question as you shuffle, then cut cards. The position of the cards and the meanings they potentially have help spell out your problem, your situation, and a way of answering the question, but it does all come from how you see the cards.

My mum will still freak if she ever saw them. Meh. They seem like a great tool to help you come to conclusions you otherwise wouldn't, stating the obvious and whatnot.

And I've had a tarot reading once before. I thought the bird was bullcrapping me. I'd just started talking to Pete again, and gone on holiday to Florida (we do it every 12-18 months) and at the Pirates dinner show they had a tarot reader. She pulled out the lovers and wheel of fortune from my shuffling, and said fate had brought me and an ex to a place we could work together from, that it was better this time because we were both ready for it. Didn't quite get her, but I knew it would've been Pete anyway ... but I read the stuff about the wheel of fortune and the lovers and ... yeah, she knew her tarot dictionary lol. I never took it to mean anything more than Pete and I would be friends, btw, just that we were both probably ready to stop being stupid and start being friends again. Is kinda true, since we do speak often. Even if he did bail out on me the other day.

And boy's Godmother has bailed out of the zoo, until July. If I didn't feel so lousy, that'd get me there.

But I do, and the screen's hurting my eyes, but I wanted to do something other than sleep/stare at Glee or New Moon/drink soup.

I need an intervention!

This is the blog that got deleted. I'll summarise. Spent too much money on books, meant to get one, came out with thousands of books inspired by Scarlett Thomas instead. Won't buy any more books, apart from Stephenie Meyer's latest money-making tripe.

Taco Bell in UK at last. Whoop whoop, blahblahblah, I'm now going to move to Lakeside. Really funny thing my friend said about Taco Bell you'll hear when I'm not pissed off at my computer being a retard.

And play with my smelly new tarot cards there (the devil card scares me, blahblahblah ... it's a Scarlett Thomas thing).