New Moan

I miss my sister.

I really don't want to write an action plan for work on my holiday.

I have found way too much shit cleaning up.

I don't think I can get into bed tonight without disturbing the boy (it's time for the flea stuff to go down, he's got a few bites from the cat's fleas :( and now he's sleeping in my bed while his room's being sorted.)

I want to write but have no motivation.

I want it to be last monday night again, it was nice having a life. And seeing someone I've admired for over a decade for the second time.

New years

I keep meaning to blog. I also keep working, keep spending time with the boy. Keep getting sick too. Also, I got a kindle for Christmas so most of my free time is spent with that.

Don't worry, I'm not going to make some lame new years resolution like 'I'll blog more!'

My new years resolution's a bit easier to keep than that.

It's to take my wheat intolerance seriously. I'm sick of being a fatty-fatty because I can't resist cake, or pie, or biscuits, or anything that tastes good. I'll make some exceptions for work, since I'm doing a food-tasting course tomorrow, and y'know, it's burgers ... but I will tone it down. Means no more cadburys too, by the way, they tend to use wheat to bind chocolate. Only foreign chocolate from now on (so kinder and lindor and milka still are acceptable, lol) ... remember that at easter, okay?

Snow day like a snow day

So today was my day off this week. I almost got talked in (by myself) to going in to do some paperwork I'm meant to be scheduled for but haven't been this week (thanks Jay) but it took me an hour and a half to get the boy to nursery ... so not so much. Thanks, snow!

Do you know how hard it is to push a buggy through 4 inches of the white stuff? The wheels turn from the resistance and the spokes fill with snow and they're duo wheels so the snow plugs the inner section and they turn into small snow ploughs.

It was like, my one golden chance of doing Christmas shopping too, so I thought 'hey, it's a little snow' and went to town. Yeah,buses stopped. Still got shopping (only 4 of my family left to buy for! Before you think I've done no shopping ... I'm buying for at least 15 people) and the nursery called at 2. Shutting at 4. Brilliant. I stranded myself ... I got a disabled taxi to the nursery and shoved boy in, buggy and all. Didn't cost loads considering the weather and the fact we covered half the town. But I'm creamed now.

Oh, and we've had no internet for a while which is totally my excuse for not blogging. That and the fact I practically live at work atm (I'm not going to write about work so much, I'm having an overload).

I'll end on a happy note ... kindle for Christmas! wifi and 3G ... hello solution to my multiple-books-on-holiday dilemma!

Blog,blog,blog

I haven't blogged in ages. I hate that. Sometimes there's stuff I just need to blog. I just haven't had the time to stop lately. This is my first real day off in over 2 weeks. I'm barely sleeping too - in once instance, because I've been given shifts that haven't got 11 hours between them (legal requirement, naughty!) and partly because my boy keeps deciding to share. I can cope with sharing, but he kicks me or strokes me or nuzzles his hand under me and it freaks me out and keeps me up. Plus, I've got a bitch of a cold this morning - I'm dosed up and I've made friends with mr tropicana smooth again, and slept with olbas oil and vicks (although, not sure boy should be breathing in all those menthol fumes) but my sinuses feel rubbish. They make me feel sleepy, which isn't exactly a feat right now.

I see my friends next weekend though! Got to tidy my crap hole of a room (and use my sister's room to store all my crap lol, don't tell my mamma!) buuuuut taco bell in town should be open in time for Joanne coming over. And if not, I'll show you where my current supply of icy cups are coming from ;)

So anyway ... there's not much to talk about. I have a weekend break next weekend, for my friends and Harry Potter, and otherwise I'm working my ass off at work. I have a lovely new white uniform to ruin for work now lol (and a crapload more responsibilities and paperwork, but hey, such is life for an extra 15p an hour)

That's what happens when you skim read

So, I've busted a gut to get more time to get in work, to get more stuff done etc etc. Taking responsibility for the fact I'm being promoted. Good girl, me. But there are times I can't do - times I need to be with boy, times I need to do my other duties at work. I explained this in an email, but because the scheduling manager hasn't read it properly, and saw the timings in my email, he's just given me the times I can't do. I'm available 18 hours on Monday, except the evening. Guess what shift I have? Same for Thursday. Sigh. I'll go down tomorrow on his shift and explain the situation, but in the mean time, I've asked for cover on our system. Still, it's a huge effing headache considering I have a dependent to consider too.

On the flip side, two of the shifts I've been given that I can do read as management shifts. Scary. They've made me run 2 shifts this week which is great, I wanna do the stuff and get used to it ... but I need more than just 'okay, run the shift now'. How about telling me goals, things I have to get done, how to do certain things (like travelpaths, KVS reports etc) ... they should know by now I have a billion questions about everything and will ask as they occur, I'm not a robot, I'm a thinker, and I'm thinking about how little someone who's just been promoted has actually given me to think about. Could be worse though, she's spoonfeeding her boyfriend everything, he won't have the wherewithal to run a shift properly at the end of it.

So, enough about work. In three weeks time I will be with some of the best people on the planet, having seen Harry Potter 7.1 in Empire Impact at half 10 in the morning. Obsessed? Moi?

Oh, and this is really for http://zeebee-booksbooksbooks.bloggingabout.com but I'm on the second part of Anna Karenina. Awesome book, even if the English translation makes the language clunk a little. A little more vapid a subject matter than I was expecting from the guy who brought us War And Peace, but the detail's what counts.

My back's hurting too. Got to stop lugging all my books about every day for work.

Confession corner

So ... okay, I'm going to get a bit emo here. Maybe I've overplayed my chemical romance or something, I don't know. Don't read if you're going to pity me, or give advice or anything. I just want to purge, you know?

So I haven't been that lucky in relationships. Ever. The guy I came closest to having a decent relationship with lived too far away, and I couldn't handle it, the change between being his distant girlfriend and being his girlfriend right there.

And normally it's easy for me to just avoid it all - I'm glad one person's computer is broken right now, because I'm hoping when she finally gets around to reading this I'll be over it all and back to normal - because I know I'm crap, and my relationships are crap. And I'm so busy at the moment, with work and my boy and just general life, I couldn't fit anyone in.

But ... maybe it's just this time of year? I normally start going out with people in October - I don't know why, I just do - and I'm really feeling it this year. I don't even know anyone I actually think of that way. I mean, there are a couple of guys I know and get on well with and we joke about it and everything, but I think right now that's just counter-productive. I'm in the sort of mood where I kinda wish it was real, not because I suddenly think they're insanely hot, but because they're making it sound like a possibility.

I'm just not in a great place in general, I've got too many hang ups from the last few years ... but right now, I wish there was someone who could dispel those hang ups and make me feel human. Just for a little while.

Anyone know any good men? I've checked, Jake Gyllenhaal is currently unavailable, so get inventive, please.

Where've you been, buddy?

Sorry, I really want to blog, I do, but I just literally haven't had the time. My folks are away this week - mum's back tomorrow - but it means I have no back up childcare. So I'm rushing about for the boy and with everything going on at work I've had a few meetings to get to and whatnot, lots of new things to learn, and last night boy was sick and I had to cancel my plans to sleep and maybe come on here. Fun, fun.

I'll blog again tonight, or tomorrow, or something.